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Re: the speed of murder
I have to agree to disagree.
I mean, the first time I sent my order, they murdered the intended victim
almost instantly. For a second I though they had one of the Scanners or
something. I was impressed.
By the 5th or 6th murder, they were taking forever.
Why the last person I tried to have murdered had enough time to flee the
country. That Marc Brown I tell you. He's no longer the sniper he once
In any case, if you're trying to have someone murdered, don't try Murder.
I admit, though, they send you all this funky stuff when you order. Last
time I got this record by some band...Slon...something like that. I
forget, not bad at all. Before they had sent me some record by M.C.
Hammer...at least that's who I think it was, judged by the name...You
Can't Touch This. The name scared me so I haven't listened to it. The
worst thing is that when I phone them or e-mail them to tell them that I
appreciate their speedy and painless disposal of my targets, and
appreciate the extra bonus music they send me, they just hang up
immediately. In fact last time I called them, the police came looking
'round here scarcely a few minutes after I had been hung up on. Weird.
Anyhow, my cheetos are waiting.
PS. oh yeah, I hear Matador are also good at the murder business...
This work has been brought to you by the letters M and I...for morbid
irony. Use as intended.
> hi, to follow up on our earlier debate about the speed of murder, i have
> made two seperate orders recently. the first order took 18 days or so to
> come. the second one took.....shit, i just got a nosebleed, right out of
> nowhere!!.....well, yeah, my second one took under three weeks, more like
> two. yeah two. the only people who are faster are sub pop and
> endearing......that's all. i have to tend to my nose. one handed typing
> rich c. rgcampbe\!/acs.ucalgary.ca