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chickpea meets the separatists...
could someone please post a review of the grace babies show please?
for anyone who went.... here's why we didn't.. stop reading now if you
dont care.. this is VERY LONG but not a word of an exaggeration and i have
cut a lot out.
we leave at 4:00pm thursday afternon. first thing, the gas station is not
giving gas because the power is out.. we should have turned around there..
:) so we get gas... and go..
it's raining... im leaving things out for time reasons...
but as we are passing montreal, we start talking about god... "what if god
was one of us..." joan osborne style. bad idea.. i think we pissed him off.
outside of montreal the car makes a sound so we pull over... as we pull
over, it dies and we cannot start it again. it's still gale-storm by the
so colin and steve walk twenty minutes back to a phone being blown over by
every truck that passes.. in the rain too.. christine and i chat.. they
get back and the tow comes soon after.
so colin, christine and i are in the car..on the towtruck while steve sits
in the truck with two french dirty men.
we find out after that they taunted and teased him, calling him "femme"
and "madame" while laughing at their funny selves. so steve yells... "vive
l'independence quebec!" and they like him.. but are still arseholes.
we get to the nearest canadian tire in drumondville... the bumhole of the
universe from now on.
it's now nine oclock.. so canadian tire wont give us a hand because we are
so we go to kfc.. it takes five minutes to ask for the yellow pages.. i am
now the translator/communication.. but they still hate me. so we call a
garage and i ask if it is 24 hours/.. the woman says yes so they say they
are on their way.
they get there and take a look.. then they fuckin say they have to tow us
back to their garage to fix it the next morning... "what?!".. yeah.. and
the tow is 45 dollars.. and it's also 45 dollars if they dont tow us
because you know, that's how much it costs to get there.. so these french
english hating fuckers have just screwed us out of 45 bucks already.. so
we grudgingly take the tow offer.
so we're hiding in the car as it's being towed right.. so we stop.. but to
our surprize.. they are not stopping at the garage.. no no.. they are
stopping at a fucking pizza place for coffees. we sit there stunned for
like five minutes and watch, to our amazement the couple go in and sit and
drink coffee to their fuckin dirty hearts content. christine flips and
wants to go in and rage at them but colin and steve calm her down as we
would probably be thrown in jail by french police who really do not give a
shit if we get anywhere ever... so we go in... make some calls... and
decide to try to fixc it ourselves..
so we ask dirty boy to take us back to canadian tire.... oh no.. that
would cost another 45 dollars... christine is fuming by this time but
keeps her cool... she is too good for words by the way.!
so we say fuck it.. drop us off..
we get taken to a nearby mall and decide to spend the night in a mall
parking lot.. in the car.. fine.. we are all laughing at how ridiculous
this all is..
well.. the car is conviniently located near a fucking dirty bar so when it
lets out at three.. we fear our lives since im sure the drunked
separatists will love the ontario plates.
we live and get up early... still raining by the way...
it stopped by the morning and colin and steve go to get a part for the
car.... christine and i are cleaning up and aitring out the car... oops!\!/
i lock the fucking keys in the truck... god hates us.
so steve and colin get back and aren't even surprized at us because
nothing else bad could happen to us.
so steve rips the back seat out and goes 'deap trunk diving' and pops it..
we find the keys.. meanwhile colin has fixed the car.. so we get a woman
to give us a boost.. she is driving a fuckin jim rockford firebird thing..
but we cant get the hood open so she leaves.... we had to beg everyone for
help by the way...
so we get a boost.. nothing..
we get another boost.. nothing... we figure we are going to die there.
so we give up on the birdland show.. have our breakdowns.. and get a third
tow to fuckin canadian tire...
we go for a walk as the car will take a few hours to get in and steve gets
harassed in dunkin donuts as he is english.. we are not impressed with the
whole city by this point.
we get back to canadian tire and the car is still not ready... it finally
goes in and it gets worked on...
by who? a fuckin parts guy ..dirty parts guy.. and his oaf of a friend who
jokes about the tools cutting off his penis.... they work for two hours
and then decide to quit and actually get the mechanic. WHAT A NOVEL IDEA!\!/!!
we are already dealing with canadian tire head office or whatever to
tattle on these fucks.
so the mechanic comes back from his two hour supper and fixes the car
after 30 minutes...
they over charge us and we book it out of there to new brunswick..
so... the rain follows us all the way to woodstock nb.. we even stray the
wrong way for a second.. and it stops.. but as soon as we hit the fucking
highway again... torrential downpour.. we even had to stop a few times as
the road was not even visible through all the water.
but we get there... woodstock is the cooles fucking place by the way... go
see them.. ask around for the undertow.. if you are touring.. DO NOT PASS
THIS PLACE UP!!!! they are the nicest people in the world and treated us
like kings and queen... they are opening a new one up... (with the stage
hanging from the ceiling no less..!)
anyways.. stuff was good and we came home today... passed drummondville...
one person was hitchiking out... westward... one was hitchikng out..
eastward... there were also two more people walking along the highway.. we
think they were all escaping the fucking hell..
also.. there was a car broken down at the exact same spot where we had.
unfucking believable.. sorry bout the length..
but needless to say.. if you are going near drummondville... STAY THE FUCK